Thursday, October 13, 2011

Not Just Another sports story

Alex Kerkhoff
2a. This essay is more appealing to me than my other two because I think it is a great topic and it really shows who i am.
2b. I think my essay can be related to anyone because its something that usually everybody goes through in some part of there life.
2c. My weakness in this paper is how good the sentences flow.
2d. One question I would have, is there any parts in the story where you are confused. 

 Not Just Another Sports Story
   
My whole life I’ve played sports, its what I enjoy, prepare for, live for. Sports are just apart of me as my leg is attached to my hip. There is only one thing wrong with all of this and that is I am just not that athletic, or I might say not as much as I want to be. This poses a problem when it comes to playing in games. I know high school sports aren’t the NFL or even college ball but its a part of who I am.
    Every season starts months before the first game in any sport you play. In my case the off season starts the day after football ends, with indoor track. Track was awful but each year I could see the benefits from it. It wasn’t just indoor track that I had to do, it was also outdoor track. Now I am a three sport Athlete preparing just to play football. The real test is when the coaches aren't around.  It all starts with lifting and conditioning. Since my freshmen year I have been lifting in the summer months before football almost everyday I can. Going to captains practice in the middle of the summer and conditioning with the team.
I’ve been doing all this for four years of my life, everyday to get better for football. When finally got to my Senior season I was ready to play and essential have my chance in the spot light. But life had a different plan for me. After the first few weeks of the season I had figured out that I was not going to start anywhere on the team because there was a more athletic kid, that was better suited for the job. At first I was angry, second I was disappointed, third I was ready to quit. I just thought that four years of work had all for none. Luckily for me I had a coach, or more of a mentor explain to me that quitting would only make things worse and I would regret that decision the rest of my life.   
After I talked to coach I learned a lot about myself, and what Ive done in my life. All those summers of lifting and dreaded track practices had made me who I am as a person. I realized the commitment to excellence I had to whatever I do and this was developed through football and everything that came through it. My work ethic and commitment for the sport of football simultaneously applies to my life. Now everything I do reflects that because it is just a part of me as sports are. Football isn't just a sport, it's a teacher that teaches the drive and will to accomplish whatever the task at hand is. And I will carry those attributes wherever I go  now. All good papers should end with a quote Ive heard. My head coach told our team one time before practice that “ the game of football can do more for you than you can do for it”. - Eric Scammons 


2 comments:

  1. I see someone dedicated to football.
    I recommend you focus on a particular time or moment. Get more specific and less general.
    If you proofread you'll catch some of your errors.
    I like your quote at the end. However, it's best to end with your own ideas, not someone else's.

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  2. 1.)I saw the author realizing there is more to life than sports and being recognized for hard work. That hard work pays off even if no one sees it.
    2.) I would try to mix up the sentence structure and elaborate more on some of your listing, i.e. the third paragraph, go more in-depth with your emotions rather than simply using short sentences and lists.
    3.) I think the second and third sentences need to be reworked into one sentence. I was confused with how you worded the third sentence, though I got the general idea. I think that the leg metaphor may be placed a bit too early in the paper and leads to confusion.
    4.)Overall, I think the greatest strength of the paper is the plot--the paper's author goes through a painful realization he will not be starting, leading to anger, but eventually turning that anger and perspective into something positive.

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